Eight guitars and a harmonica

Being rejected is one thing. But when little rejections accumulate into continuous reminders of just how insignificant you are, it hurts.

Deleting old contacts..

“That store’s closed..
So’s that one..
Why would I need that number?
Her number’s changed..
Who’s that?
Whoa! But she’s dead..
And he got deported..
Walmart. Walmart??
WHO’S WESLEY?”

I’m just going to have to swallow my Blackberry pride and settle for my old Samsung :/ Broken keyboard, hmph.

My faith had always been my driving force.

And all this time, whenever— whenever— I was brought down by something, God was always the first person I turned to. And whenever something good happened, He was always the first person I thanked. But after all this time, I start questioning that maybe it was just going through the motions. And now, after what just happened, I realize that I was never really a good Christian. I can’t have been. Because God promised that so long as I have my faith in Him, I’ll never be alone. And yet, I’ve never felt as alone as I do now. Maybe since I had never been a good Christian, He gave up on me. And if He’s going to give up on me, it’s only fair that I return the favor.

And so begins the end.

I think I’m in love. Again.

I guess that sooner or later,

I’m just going to have to accept that I’m not your type. But, I also guess, that after 18+ years (and counting!) of not being enough, there’s not really much more to say than: that’s okay :)